


Breathtaking

by jammcakes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Breathplay, Eruri Secret Santa 2015, Light Angst, Light BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jammcakes/pseuds/jammcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“My concern,” Levi said, low and languid, “is over idiots who have a habit of pushing themselves a little bit further in everything they do…even if it kills them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathtaking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [drowsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowsy/gifts).



> Happ-eruri Holidays to the incredible [Spinsy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinsy/pseuds/Spinsy%0A)! I was her Eruri Secret Santa this year, and the prompt was SURPRISE ME, so I hope this NSFW amalgamation will satisfy it: the surprise is just how terrible I am at writing smut WHOOPS! 
> 
> Regardless, I hope you find something to enjoy in this fic and have wonderful and safe rest of the year! ^_^

Levi had started fantasizing about it from the moment he had laid eyes on Erwin. After the barracks’ lamps dimmed, and the rest of the regiment dozed off in their cots, Levi practiced beneath bedsheets: back flat against the mattress and arms lifted to just the right angle above him, as he mapped exactly where each little finger would fall along the slope of Erwin’s neck. Levi had held other men in such a manner before, but Erwin Smith was going to be special.

And Levi had learned from a master.

 _“We’re gonna’ have ourselves a little music lesson today, Levi,”_ Kenny had informed him, grin wide enough to shame a Titan’s. Levi knew beggars in the underground who  strummed stringed instruments for coin. He had never seen Kenny play, but less than an hour later, he answered Levi by leading him over to a man confined to his chair within the grubby walls of their apartment. _“I think it’s real important that your education be a well-rounded one.”_

Levi watched Kenny snap a pair of rat-leather gloves over his hands; watched him when he drew one long finger across the width of the man’s throat as he circled around. “ _And you’re real lucky too, ya know? Ya get to learn from a real virtuoso-and-so.”_

If their guest had any protest to their lesson plan, the rag lodged in his mouth gobbled it up. His fine clothes reeked of piss and vomit, while every roll of fat hanging off his body shivered as bloodshot eyes fixated on Levi's. They bulged well beyond what the red swelling surrounding his temples should’ve permitted once Kenny’s hands wrapped around the base of his neck.  _“Clean the gunk outta’ your ears, runt. You’re about to hear the most honest sounds this man has ever made in his life.”_

Though the Ripper had long since vanished, his lessons lived on at the ends of Levi's fingertips. During those long night hours, he rehearsed their order, their pressure points; how they would pluck each one of that smug bastard's breaths from his lungs, and would feel the heat and color drain from his lips. On those nights, he worked until his arms ached and his eyelids grew heavy, and his fists felt as though they could crush the snores and wheezes from the surrounding bunks into a silent lullaby.  

Those were the nights where he was thankful for the cover of bedsheets. Now, Levi's just grateful that the cleaning mask hides the grimace he makes whenever he remembers the idiot who had thought those things three years ago. Whoever that had been, it certainly was not the same man on his hands and knees wiping down wooden bookshelves within the commander of the Scouting Legion’s office.

Nor was the man seated at the desk the same one he had so vividly entertained strangling. Below him, Erwin Smith penned letters with an elegant ferocity Levi reserved for the napes of man-eating giants; and despite the room being both moderately lit and nipped by autumn, wrote with white sleeves rolled up past his elbows.  Levi eyed the brown jacket uselessly covering the back of the desk chair, and snorted. One budget breakdown on the cost of removing ink stains from their uniforms had been enough incentive to alter the commander’s writing habits.

It hadn’t, however, corrected the dust coating the corner shelf. Levi had thought that he had mentally readied himself for the worst after his hands had left near perfect impressions of themselves on the rolling ladder, but nothing prepared him for the snowscape awaiting him at its summit. Even the grimace shielding mask he wore had failed in suppressing his disgust. 

 “Is something wrong?”

A quick  downward glance found Erwin  wearing one of his infuriating half grins, not looking up from his work. 

Levi slid the dust rag along the edge of the shelf to uncover the dark wood underneath. He tugged the mask to just below his chin. “Just wondering what’s the point of being so damn tall if you never clean the top shelf.”

The lip of the inkwell clinked merrily against the tip of Erwin’s pen before its writer returned it to parchment.  “One of the many great secrets of this world, I suppose.”

Levi scoffed, “It’s no secret: It’s just lazy.”  He snapped the cloth back over his mouth and returned to slicing through the dust with short, circular strokes. “Lazy…lazy…lazy…”

It was a benign insult at worst; a suggestion at best.  In regards to work ethic, the man was anything but, and both knew that Erwin would sooner wish for his heart to stop if only that it meant the pen the in his hand kept going: a ruthless philosophy that he commanded both within the walls of his office and beyond the ones of the world.  

Erwin was, however, and despite his best protests, still human; and  it was a fact Levi was becoming increasingly aware of while the two attended to their respective jobs. Something about early evenings carved a distinct weariness into the commander’s features, and made golden strands of hair appear paler and thinner. In the wrong slant of light, Erwin Smith at work looked too much like the corpses they didn’t bring home. Too much like the Erwin Smith an idiot used to fantasize about…

Levi squeezed his eyes tight against the sting of dust. Over the past couple of weeks, he had mastered skirting around the compact room to avoid eye contact, and instead, took pleasure in the quiet, comfortable rhythm they composed together. There was a certain solace that came from listening to how the gentle thuds of books being re-shelved worked on top of the satisfactory taps loose documents made once stacked and added to the “out” pile; how arms worked to remove grime and apply ink in tandem.

He paused in the middle of returning a yellow paged atlas to its place once he heard the room’s pulse take a sudden dip. For the first time within the hour, the commander’s pen rested undisturbed along the spine of an open ledger. That was as good a signal as any that it was safe for Levi to look at him. No pen, no books, no letters, or papers: Erwin’s hands were empty as they cupped over his mouth and nose. With closed eyes, Erwin sat up straight and let go of a long, warm sigh. From there, Levi watched a man, whose name was too often followed by the words “cold hearted,” attempt to warm himself with nothing but the breath in his lungs. 

The motions briefly reinstated color to the commander’s cheeks and face, as his palms returned to re-lather the insides of his arms. To his own great disgust, Levi found these spectacles intoxicating enough to fully seize his attention from whatever task was on hand. He recognized it as a cleaning in its own right, and that it carried the intimacy of watching someone bathe, but mostly, without arousing any sordid thoughts…mostly.

Erwin finished by tilting his neck back to address his collarbones, the hand briefly swiping under the emerald oval coiled around his neck before disappearing beneath his shirt. The gem bobbled, twirling  itself awkwardly over the cord securing it until it pushed itself into the dip of Erwin’s throat. Levi fidgeted in sympathetic discomfort. He understood the pressure of overzealous knots better than most, and was relieved when Erwin corrected it swiftly. A few nimble twists and pulls fashioned it at the appropriate length at his chest, and when the commander fanned the hem of his shirt with two last tugs—

Levi felt the air simmer out of his chest. Jutting from the shadow of Erwin’s collar were several sunset colored streaks, slim and delicate as the fingers that were digging lesions into a dust cloth.

 _“Ain’t they beautiful, Levi?_ ” drifted Kenny’s voice after the two of them had severed the last bit of rope holding their slouching guest down. He lifted the man’s limp chin up so that his protégé could see the mottled shapes blooming along the base of his neck. _“Handmade and one of a kind,”_ he whistled through his teeth. _“That is some fine-fucking-arts right there if I do say so myself. Told ya we were going to be well rounded.”_

He twisted the rag until it matched the nausea seizing his gut as he remembered fulfilling an idiot’s fantasy. Two idiots, if he was being exact: the distant moron who had practiced alone in bed three years ago, and the sick blonde bastard who had requested it four nights ago…and a week before that. Probably not the way Kenny the Ripper had intended his gifts to be used. 

Erwin reached for his pen again, and Levi realized he had been gawking in his direction a little too late. “You look pale…are you alright?” the commander asked with a concerned squint. 

Levi swore under his tongue for not turning away fast enough. He curled his fingers into a small fist and thumped the top of the bookshelf. A flurry of motes shot up around his hand. “It’s the shit air in this shit room,” he sniffed, backing down the ladder to avoid the dust storm he had stirred. “It amazes me that anyone can breathe in here.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah…” Levi continued, trying to ignore how the commander’s eyes were following him as he crossed to the waste bin next to his desk. He slung the rag into it and un-looped the mask from behind his ears. “But then I figure maybe…that’s why you like it in here.” He didn’t bother trying to turn away this time. 

Erwin met his eyes, and the hard concern melted away from his features immediately with a rueful smile. “Maybe so,” the commander said with a breathy chuckle. 

Kenny nudged the corpse sagging out of the chair onto their floor with the toe of his boot. _“And if you think THIS was fucked up—Oi! Lemme tell you, runt, ya don’t know shit about the world. There are some sick fucks among Sina’s muckety-mucks that get of—ahh, that actually like having this thing done to them. I mean, not this asshole, obviously, but they’re out there. Trust me.”_

 “You should stop it then,” Levi interjected before Erwin could descend back into his work. His bottom lip curled slightly over his teeth as the man stared back at him with an  irritating innocence. “I mean it,” he added with a nod to the open ledger. “You’ve seen our books. I highly doubt our image and funding will improve if the public finds out the Commander of the Scouting Legion is some sort of…strung up…pervert.” 

The innocence dissolved into a confused smile, “ _‘Strung up perver_ t…,” Erwin repeated. He leaned forward and circled his hand around the back of his neck, “I’m not quite sure I understand what you’re…” His fingers stopped over where the skin was hidden, but still tender. “Oh, Oh! You mean when we’ve..? No, you needn’t worry about that, Levi,” the commander assured, “I’m well aware of the risks.” 

 He moved to retrieve his pen, and Levi slapped the flat of the desk’s surface with his palm. It jostled and rolled over the edge, hitting the floor with a definitive clack. 

“ ‘ _Well aware of the risks,’_ huh?”Levi clicked his tongue, “So _s_ ays the man who intimately knows the threat of Titans, and fights them anyway for a living. You’ll have to _f_ orgive me, _Commander,_ if I don’t find those words particularly comforting coming from you.”

“ True. I doubt there’s anyone who disputes our branch’s familiarity with death,” Erwin said.

Equating the fates of their soldiers with _that_ was crude _._ “It’s not a death, it’s an _embarrassment… a_ nd not a particularly clean one at that.”

“Ah, and therein lies Captain Levi’s concern,” an amused Erwin hummed.  

The scowl deepening Levi’s features revealed he was less so, and his  back bristled into an arch over the desk, palms splaying until the fingers rested claw-like over the wood and parchment. 

“My _concern_ ,” Levi said, low and languid, “is over idiots who have a habit of pushing themselves a little bit further in everything they do…even if it kills them. That’s my concern.”

Blue eyes remained fixed on him for several moments, widening once with great respect and a tinge of…something Levi couldn’t quite name once the larger hand covered one of his own.  “Your concern for idiots is duly noted. And appreciated,” he added with a little squeeze. “All the more reason why I’m reiterating that you do not need to worry.” 

“Then this’ll stop?” Levi asked, lowering his tone until it was barely above a breath. He pulled back his hand just enough to mingle his fingers with Erwin’s. Small pads ghosted along the ridges of worn knuckles, “Please?”

“Levi….”

Despite its warmth, Erwin’s hand sallowed underneath his. “Levi, it’s…” Erwin began again, but paused as if something snatched the exact words from him. “…It’s just not that simple,” he admitted.

“Why?”  A furious little chatter ran over his back teeth. “Is it too fucking much to ask that you don’t try to strangle yourself before the brass does—?”

“I would never do it to myself,” Erwin interrupted, poignant eyes locked on the other man as he shook his head. “It’s not the same.”

“Then—shit,” Levi drew himself upright with a short  step back.  “Oh shit, Erwin  so you have done this to yourself before…”

The commander dissented before Levi managed another step.   “No, I haven’t.” 

“Liar,” Levi  hissed, even when part of him somehow knew he wasn’t. If the man was being honest, that just made everything even more needlessly infuriating. He attempted to turn away again, and  Erwin grabbed his wrist firm, but not unkindly.

“Have I ever asked you to use  a rope?”  

“Let go of me.”

“A belt? A rag? No,” the commander answered,“I would want those things no more than I would want another sword at my side, or another person in my bed. This,” he said, admiring each of Levi’s individual digits with his hand, “is what I need.”

A bubble of silence crept into Levi’s throat as he battled anger, confusion, and the heat kindling at his fingertips. The soothing ministrations only managed to heighten the effect. 

 “You bastard,” was what he finally said before the silence completely popped.  “Did you ever ask Marie…Or even _fucking_ Nile how they felt? Did you ever ask what was going through their minds when you asked them to put their hands around your neck? Or did you just assume every rat from the Underground is into the same weird shit as you?  Now, let me go before I break your fucking wrist.”

Levi shook him off without a struggle, and pivoted to make his way back towards the lower bookshelves, refusing to wait for the man’s reaction. He dug for a fresh dust rag in his pocket, eager to begin work and scrub out whatever odd little desires were taking root in his hand. From behind, he heard a wooden chair drag its legs out from its usual spot. He then  attempted to  ignore the careful click of boots coming to a  halt right  behind him. 

“You’ll scuff the goddamn floor,” he said without turning around from the leatherback journal with a title he couldn’t read.   

“You’re right,” Erwin’s voice answered. “I never asked them. I didn’t ask them how they felt about it, because I  had never asked them to do it.  I never knew I needed this until after I saw your first flight. You…were breathtaking, Levi.” Affection and admiration thrummed through Erwin’s sigh, “Birds looked like stones being thrown by children after you.” 

Levi snorted. “So, a few fancy arial maneuvers and you suddenly get off at the thought of me squeezing the life out of you.” He cheated a look over his shoulder. “Does that sound about right?” 

Erwin offered him a short, near inaudible laugh in return,“Partially.”

“And the other part is…?” 

“A reminder.”

Cryptic as always. Levi made certain the commander could see his grey eyes roll. “For…?”

It  was gentle, almost natural in the way Levi felt himself being pulled back into a pair of arms whose sleeves were still bound above the elbow to avoid ink stains. They crossed, one over Levi’s waist; the other around his shoulders so that Levi could feel the steady rise and fall of Erwin’s chest along his back.. Gooseflesh cropped up between the bronzing arm hair, and Levi felt the same sensation travel over to his own skin.

“The first time I held you,” the commander  murmured, “I swore I would let no man, beast, or Titan  deny me of you.” He burned a kiss into a dark crown of  hair, “Except for one.”    

The tip of Levi’s tongue prodded against his teeth. He had a terrible suspicion of who Erwin was referring to, and the man pulled him closer as if to affirm his thoughts.

“You.”

“People in our line of work are much more acquainted with death than they are victory.” Erwin said,  “Ever since Wall Maria fell, we’re that much farther from our goal;  and that much closer to death than anything resembling victory.” 

“And it makes us desperate,” Erwin continued, his hands following the curve of Levi’s torso and hips to hold onto their  respective, slighter counterparts.“So desperate, that I worry…” He massaged the center of Levi’s palms  with his thumbs. “I worry…until I feel you.”

“Fuck…” Levi’s toes scraped the inside his leather boot. He felt the weight drift out of his muscles, his arms drawn and lifted upwards like strings: a street marionette with no whims of his own, and spun about, until he faced Erwin with his  head dipped back to receive his kiss, deep and slow.

And over  far too quick. “Still pissed,” Levi informed the commander, after Erwin had pulled back to his full height. His voice  was rough with a mixture of fury and arousal and he strained on his toes to plant a quick nip on Erwin’s lower lip. The man touched the spot with their tops of their  entwined hands  with familiarity.

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Erwin relinquished him from his hold, and Levi’s fingers fell until they found their footing over each of Erwin’s clavicles.  It put him nearly eye-level with the commander’s green pendant. He could  make out just the outline of his reflection, and frowned at it.

“What am I to you then,” he asked, eyes never wandering from the emerald, “some sort of lucky trinket for you to carry around?” Superstition hardly seemed to walk in step with Erwin’s rigid logic and practicality. “You feel invincible when I’m at your side, is that it?”

Two fingers lifted his chin from the gem up to meet Erwin’s face, dark brows drawn together. “Invincible..?” he said, and with the barest shake of his head, added, “I’m afraid you misunderstood. A commander needs a failsafe to remind him he’s as mortal as the rest under his command.”

Air  leapt out of Levi’s lungs. “A…what?”

The sombre half smile Erwin wore whenever working creeped back onto his face. “You recognized it in your concerns, earlier. Remember? ” He ran his thumb over the rise of Levi’s cheek, “for an idiot, who does indeed tend to go too far.” 

Levi regained some of his breath and jerked his face away with a huff. “What…the fuck, Erwin.”

“You’re capable,” Erwin praised, quiet but confident, “you’ve demonstrated pristine judgement in eliminating threats against humanity.” 

“No. Shut up.”

“And I should be no exception, should the need arise.” 

“Just fucking stop it, Erwin,”Levi hissed, pushing the man back with a jab. “Stop it right now!”

The commander  looked back at him with an enraging, unruffled calmness. “Stop what?” 

The spit in Levi’s mouth felt like it was boiling.

“Talking—thinking—shitting—whatever the fuck it is you’re doing  right now!” he spat,  shoulders heaving to catch a gulp of air. “Fuck, every time—every goddamn time you sound like this, I just—FUCK, I just want to—!”

 Heat wrapped over his muscles and bones, and he found himself staring at a lean pair of limbs stretched out in front of him. It would’ve looked prayerful had the fingers not twisted themselves into a careful, practiced pattern.  Through the gaps, he saw Erwin’s face: iced eyes, famished and certain. 

“Yes, Levi,” he said in a voice most men reserved for the confessional. “What does it make you want to do.”   

 It’s an invitation, not a question. An absolution; a reconciliation with a man Levi had thought that he had severed ties with three years ago. Yet, every nerve in his body embraced the return, from the tips of his curled fingers down to the hard soles of his feet that lunged him forward at the commander.

 _“Again!_ ” 

Despite the fact Levi was on his back for the twelfth time, Kenny’s yells barely hold any venom. _“Get up, and run at me again—except this time, actually listen  to the words coming from  my goddamn mouth. Sheesh!”_ He slapped the point on his elbow, “ _Don’t bend your arm so rigid, I mean…are ya trying to shatter your own bones?”_

 _“It’s real important that you in particular learn this, runt.  Lotta’ people think bigger is better out here; but Teach knows even better-er, Levi. This world ain’t about size,”_ Kenny grinned, _“It’s about power. And this—?”_

Kenny whistled. _“Shit, Levi, you master this, and you’ll bring down assholes astride warhorses and high horses alike.”_

The latter was tumbling with him  in perfect form to the office floor. Levi learned how to break falls without the handicap of  wires, and bore the brunt of the collision against the hardwood with the addition of Erwin’s weight on him with ease. Instinct goaded the man to immediately resist the chokehold upon impact: his back arched wildly, while hands flailed against the pressure increasing a little more with each passing second. Levi counted four heartbeats before the strength and  will slipped out of Erwin’s struggle. His hold on Erwin went lax, and Levi pushed him off. 

As Levi stood, Erwin wobbled to get to his knees, lungs starving for air. He granted the commander a few precious seconds to catch his breath before shoving him by the shoulder against the side of a bookshelf.

Levi lowered  himself  to him, his right knee resting just over Erwin’s gut. “I take it back,” he conceded through clenched teeth. He dug his knee in  a little deeper with each word.  “I take back everything I said. You _need_ this. You need someone to knock the hot air out of your goddamn lungs. Maybe that’ll stop this shitty… noble… bullshit you keep insisting on exhaling.”

The force he drew his knee back with knocked the blonde head against the shelf. Had it not been meticulously wiped down earlier, it would’ve been crowned with dust.  Levi crouched down again to adjust the fair strands that had fallen out of place. Erwin followed the movements soundlessly with his eyes, leaning into the  touch when Levi stroked his cheeks; fingers dancing over his face until they hooked into the underside of his chin. He angled him so the slant of his palm covered Erwin’s mouth.

“It’s odd,” Levi told the half-curtained eyes. “But I spent over twenty years of my life thinking I knew how to fucking breathe too.”

He transitioned  from the hooked pressure he had placed  on his throat, once he noticed the blue eyes growing more and more unfocused.  Fingers  rotated out so that they lightly massaged the stressed area. “Of course, then this blonde bastard had to come along and change every fucking thing I thought I knew. He opened my eyes, my mind…my lungs.”

A breath hadn’t even passed between them before the hand covering Erwin’s lips was replaced by Levi’s mouth. Where the earlier kiss had been slow and deep, these was quick and rabid: a result of Erwin’s  desires sparring for both air and the affection of his lover, and he  snatched gulps and kisses with equal fervor. Over time, the gasps grew less frantic and the kisses longer. The chest below ballooned even, and the arms circling Levi’s waist, stronger. More pleasing, however, was the healthy groan Erwin made when Levi’s calf accidentally bumped against his groin.

“You’re already hard just from that, huh?” Levi scoffed,  “Disgusting.” 

He was as agonizingly slow as possible when he  shuffled backwards, and stopped only when the  flat of his palms  met the top of Erwin’s thighs.  From there, he wasted no time putting them to work at undoing the man’s belt buckle. The motions lacked the former pickpocket’s usual finery, as he tried to ignore the tension bundling against his own abdomen. He pushed those thoughts, along with beige fabric aside to focus on coaxing Erwin’s cock from the confines of his small clothes. 

Levi buried the word “idiot” into the rough thatching of hair nesting below Erwin’s navel before working slow, quarter moon kisses up along one side of his length. “Idiot,” he repeated, bobbing his tongue along the underside of its exposed head. 

“And to think,” Levi said with a sudden, rough stroke that reeled the commander’s hips up, “to think you’re the one so concerned with air, when it was you…”

He traced the trail of wet kisses he had left with a long, hot sigh. “It was you that made the air taste sweet again.

“God, Levi…” 

He heard Erwin’s croak somewhere above him. The strain in his voice did nothing to assuage Levi’s own unattended arousal, and grinding one side of his teeth was proving to be an exceptionally poor substitute. With a small, frustrated snort he refused to bother with his belt, and slipped his left hand down the back of his trousers and down between the curve of his ass. He didn’t need to look up to know Erwin was watching with surprising focus, and a little laugh seethed through his teeth.

“See  how terrible you are?” Levi groaned, “making me have do this to myself…while you’re wearing  such a miserable expression on your face.”

His right hand clamped onto the inside of Erwin’s thigh while the other worked himself deeper against curled fingers; and  concurrently, bent over to wrap his mouth over as much of the flushed member as he could manage. The burn building in Levi’s ears muffled any sounds Erwin was making as tongue wandered over rises and veins. What he couldn’t ignore was the firm, urgent squeeze from a pair of larger hands at the small of his back. The taste of precum dusted the tip of his tongue.

“Right…” he said, removing himself from both of them, and a hollow ache took the vacancy his fingers left behind. Erwin took his hands as though helping him down a carriage step, and heaved him up into his lap. Levi’s legs straddled the outsides of Erwin’s. He tried not to smile too broad when the commander fumbled against his still painfully clothed erection like an eager trainee.    

“First time, soldier?” Levi teased after Erwin had finally managed to roll his pants below the knee. The man’s mouth twisted to respond, but it was silenced  with a lone, forceful finger. He trailed it over the rise of the man’s chin, along the bulge of his throat, up the hill of the green gem, and down again before he stopping to brace his whole hand against the center of the commander’s chest. 

Levi’s left reached around and slid two fingers up from the base of Erwin’s shaft until it met the outer lift of the other’s ass. The bruised plump of the Commander’s lower lip dropped, and his eyes searched the  among the fog colored ones for affirmation. Levi seized the shirt fabric under his splayed fingers and nodded. “Hold it for me,” he ordered, and waited for the long, hard gasp before guiding Erwin inside him. 

The strain had been more than Levi had anticipated. Even at a slow pace, the man was as difficult to take in bed, as in was at work. To his credit, Erwin was also combatting admirably against the urge to thrust the rest of the way into him, though not without consequence. The line dividing his lips warbled in a determined effort to keep his breath locked inside, and his neck trembled; stretched up and out against the wooden bookshelf.  

Admirability  only went so far, however, and Levi internally swore when he noticed the man’s color was dripping: an idiot who had a habit of taking things too far; and with his teeth grit beneath mangled lips, Levi bucked down. 

Erwin lurched forward, wheezing to re-regulate his breathing as Levi adjusted himself over the man’s full length. He had to guess it must’ve only been  will alone that had stopped the man from coming right then. 

“You… alright?” Levi panted, and Erwin looked at him with hunched, glassy eyes, and coughed with just the tiniest sliver of a grin.

He scoffed. “Fine…here,” he said, tasking his fingers to undo the first few buttons of the commander’s dress shirt. Slender hands parted the fabric and rested over the clean, cream skin rising with uneven gulps. “We’re gonna learn how to redo this together, right now. Just like this…”

Levi’s body followed his hand’s ascent  up the commander’s chest: “Deep breath out…”

“…And in,” he instructed, rocking fully, slowly back onto his lap. “Just like that. Again.”

Erwin took to instruction like a goddamn prodigy, and they found the comfort of their earlier working rhythm again. _Out and in, out and in:_ matching each other’s slow, steady rolls all the way up to  the quick, dancing huffs Levi’s ears recognized as belonging to bedsheets after dusk. _In and out….In…and out…out and…_  

In the flurry of the motions and friction, Levi  found his fingers once again enthroned over the thin, dusty bruises winding around Erwin’s neck. He watched them blur into the cord securing the  pendant that marked his position as commander; and  for the first time, Levi felt as though he found a glimpse  of the true Erwin Smith, twisted and strung between the marks of a man and commander. 

With fine tuned practice, his fingers sunk down into the marked flesh, and the blond head tipped forward against the crook of Levi’s shoulder in a desperate effort to smother the orgasm that ripped through him. He hung like that against him, the echo of something deep, wounded, and primal still rippling over Levi’s skin when his own release  chased after it and spilled between them.

They were in far less perfect form when they fell to the floor this time, their limbs entangled in an ungainly hold that was unlike any Kenny had ever taught him: a mess of limbs and half-dressed uniforms. Levi pictured the tight, rolled sleeves still clutching Erwin’s arms, and thought it was a shame. So much for avoiding stains.

“I should clean,” Levi murmured sometime after the afterglow dwindled,  and the drifting dust motes no longer looked like stars hanging above them. The wood their foreheads slumbered against shook with Erwin’s laugh.

“You did enough. I already feel like I can breathe easier.” 

There was color in his cheeks again, Levi noticed: the rich, ruddy red newborns had. “Of course you can,” Levi huffed, his eyes snapping  over to the commander.. “Try not to forget how,” he added and  the bookshelf  quivered again. 

“I may need a reminder. Someday,” Erwin said, voice still heavy and drowsy. He stroked the  deft fingers still lingering over his throat, circling the fourth with his own. 

“I love you terribly, you know?”

Levi nodded against the cool embrace of the shelf absently. He almost sniped back something like “sure you do,” or “yeah, emphasis on terribly,” but didn’t; because he hated  just how close, how vulnerable the fluttering little pulse in Erwin’s neck felt under his fingertips. 

And he hoped he’d never hear a more honest sound. 

###

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe Levi tried to kink shame Erwin in his own office.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! It was my first time doing an assignment like this, so I hope I didn't _choke_ too bad OAO.


End file.
